Ave Migratoria

A quiet August to name what comes next 🍂

In Romanian, the branches of a gym chain are called «club.» On Thursday afternoon, I took a break from work and decided to go to one of my favorite clubs to do my workout. To my surprise, there was finally a bit of cool wind, some grey clouds, the sun hidden behind them, and a very pleasant feeling that autumn is starting to show itself.

My favorite season. 😳

Step by Step, Again

When I had to return to work after such a long break, I took my dogs to the countryside so they could spend the summer there while I gave myself time to reorganize—mentally more than physically, I thought.

A new feeling came over me when I found myself in the apartment without my companions. My routine of taking them out, being with them, being bored together, walking and playing… I started to understand my mother a bit better—and the whole “empty nest” thing.

It’s true that I no longer have the responsibility of caring for someone else, but there’s still a void that I now have to fill. Fill it with myself. I know I’m worth it, but it’s a challenge.

I slowly started reintegrating the things I enjoy. Things like reading—giving a chance to the books that have waited so long.

Running. I’ve resumed working on my strength and endurance. It’s frustrating when you know what you’re capable of but you’re no longer at that level, and you have to walk the path all over again.

Cooking. More time to plan what I want to eat, shop, and get to work. I’m still not ready to cook for anyone else—unless you’re fine with rice and a fried egg.

How I talk to myself now

This year has been an intense learning experience about myself. One thing my therapist keeps reminding me of is learning what self-compassion is, and how and when to use it.

It starts by recognizing that my mistakes don’t define me. But neither do my achievements. It’s actually easier to understand it this way: if what’s happening to you were happening to a friend or loved one, what would you say to them? How would you treat them?

That’s exactly how you should treat yourself.

And that’s what I’m trying to do. Step by step.

Burnout, a few months later

I used to think mental health had to be kept private. Now I think a little differently. I think there’s no need to share it with everyone—but there should be freedom to speak about it or discuss it. Whether with specialists, trusted people, or those with the maturity to understand such vulnerability.

I’m not sure “freedom” is the right word. You may technically have it, but not feel free to speak. After reflecting a bit more, for now I’d use the word empowerment. And I’d put it this way: it’s important to be empowered to talk about it.

Like any sport, you can get better the more you practice and make the necessary changes to improve your technique, your performance, and protect your health.

I realized that by keeping mental health private, I was robbing myself of the chance to get better at explaining it—and at protecting myself from others’ comments or prejudices. And because it’s impossible to control what people say or how they react, I lose the opportunity to learn what is said and how mental health is received.

When I opened the door to talking about my mental health with those around me, I learned that some people believe they can diagnose you better than a professional.

Or that in some places (including your workplace), therapy is seen as something you do if you’re “broken,” have been through trauma, or because you don’t have friends.

So those are the moments where I’ve had to navigate new ground for self-compassion. It’s about defending my mental health fiercely, and setting boundaries that protect it from anything—or anyone—that threatens it.

Sometimes, that means stepping away quietly.